Between the blinding lights and dinner dilemma, our columnist has the hit the point of her Christmas countdown where she is happy to live in the present, not worry about presents!
• I HAVE decided that I’m ‘all set’ for Christmas and it’s a huge load off my mind. What’s done is done, what’s bought is bought and sure what is the dinner anyway, only something a little elevated from we serve every other day?
• I’ve also absolved myself of the exhausting pre-Christmas deep clean on the basis that it makes far more sense to do it in January when all the decorations are down etc. That, I can tell you, is a massive relief. So that’s where I’m at right now and it’s a nice peaceful, restful place to be.
I might even get to watch a Christmas movie, or perhaps meet a friend for a walk. There may even be a lovely nap on the agenda.
No need to get ahead of myself, though, as tomorrow could see a very different scenario. I’m likely to swing back the other way and decide that there’s not enough bought, in fact there’s not a thing bought and nowhere near enough done. I’ll start setting up assembly lines and steeping dried fruit in brandy for cakes and pies, researching how to hand-rear turkeys, foraging for garlands and I could very likely take a notion to start powerwashing the roof to make a good impression on Santa. That’s the Christmas madness alright and it’s in the air. Where the dial will set in this household is anyone’s guess!
• Christmas lights are a great example of how the madness manifests. I had decided to opt out of doing outdoor lights and I had made my peace with that. I figured we’d need to re-mortgage to do a decent job so we’d just let it be.
Now, the rest of the family didn’t get the memo on that. My husband keeps arriving home from work with bits of this and that, that he’s sneaking on to various trees and shrubs in the hope that I won’t even notice. No chance. There’s absolutely no colour scheme (we’ve got warm white, ice white, and multi colours, and it’s not all white at all!). To give you an idea, you know the house on Home Alone? Well, it’s nothing like that. My advice to you is to avert your eyes if you’re driving by as it might bring on some class of a seizure.
• Anyway, as well as the mish-mash of lights, the place is entangled in an elaborate web of extension leads and wires and it feels like it’s booby trapped. I keep expecting to see MacGyver popping up to detonate a fuse box and rescue us. I pity the delivery men as they make their way gingerly to the door, but I fear for myself most of all as I’ll probably be the one that goes flying. Even the dog is treading carefully. Just as well Santa is airborne.
• I have to admit that it’s a bit addictive, though, and in a moment of weakness I bought a garland of lights too. And in that moment I was actually glad that we didn’t have a colour scheme as I can never remember what type of white to go for. I’m slightly alarmed at how my brain has abandoned me these days. I’m not sure if it’s because Christmas is occupying 91% of my head space right now, or if it’s some type of dry rot after setting in. Only time will tell.
Exiting a car park became a nightmare for absent-minded Emma. (Photo: Shutterstock)
• An example of how forgetful I am was – I was in Cork during the week and I needed to use two car parks. When I went to exit the second car park the barrier didn’t budge. Odd, I thought. As no one was behind me, I didn’t panic, and went to swipe the ticket again (speaking of the swiping, does anyone else find that confusing? Wasn’t it far easier when you just had to insert the ticket? Just me?). By now, two cars had pulled in behind me so you know, I was starting to sweat a little, and the heart rate had picked up a bit. Cue lots more swiping, a good bit of cursing, more sweating. Still nothing doing. I was just contemplating abandoning the scene to start a new life far, far away (an easier option than attempting to reverse out of the queue), when the penny dropped. I was swiping the ticket from the first car park. Doh! The thing is that I had deliberately separated them earlier to make sure that didn’t happen.... or thought I had. Who even knows. Anyway, off I went on my way, after lots of apologetic hand gestures and ‘what am I like’ sort of facial expressions. I think it’s probably best that I’m not let out alone again.
• Finally, on a semi-serious, non-preachy note if anyone is verging on losing their mind this week, firstly, I hear you. Making Christmas ‘happen’ can take it out of you. So take a tiny moment and breathe. Keep doing that for a few minutes.
Now, ask yourself what presents did you get last year? Or the year before? Obviously I can’t remember (refer above to my memory issues), but chances are you don’t either. That’s the point.
Forget the presents, instead be present. I can’t take the credit for that ridiculously corny phrase but it’s a good one to remember.
Get stuck into the Lego making with the smallies, go kick a ball with your teen, make the jigsaw, ring your relative, meet your pal for a walk. Obviously if you’re an adult you can’t abandon your duties entirely but try to find that balance, and absolutely forget about any ‘tablescaping’ nonsense.
Now doesn’t that bring tidings of comfort and joy all round? Sure, that’s the best present of all.
