The do’s and do-nots for the first day of school for your adorable tiny tots

Parents all over West Cork are preparing to send their kids off to school for the first time this week and next. It’s a big milestone for both the young and old. Emma Connolly offers her Top 10 tips to smooth the journey

1 NO doubt there’ll have been lots of ‘Are you ready for big school?’ from relatives and friends over the past few weeks, and as well-meaning as it is, make them stop that carry-on right away. Imagine if everyone was asking you ‘are you ready for your first say in the big office?’ on repeat. Exactly. It can set even the most relaxed of children into overdrive. Keep things as low key as possible for everyone’s sake (especially yours).

2 ON the morning of the first day in big school (see? I’m as bad myself), have an arrangement made to walk in with a pal. It will help distract from any possible jitters and calm any last-minute nerves. Try to arrange the same for your child as well! Chances are they’ll be totally fine, though, as most children now have the benefit of already attending playschool, not like in my day when the first time we left the safety and security of our mums was on September 1st and we didn’t know what hit us. Neither did the poor teachers.

3 NEXT, be prepared for some pretty awful behaviour at home from your little one for the first week (or even few weeks). They’ll have been on their best behaviour at school (we hope), so there’ll be an eruption of mixed-up emotions as soon as they get in the door at home. I won’t lie, it’s not going to be pleasant, but just don’t take it personally. In fact, according to the experts, it’s a compliment, as they feel secure enough in our company to let it all out. Every child is different, but I wouldn’t bother with any after-school activities or anything for ages yet. Sure, they’re only babies! They’ll be absolutely wrecked for the first while as they get into a routine and there’s nothing wrong with some quiet time in the afternoons (yes, that means TV) to just chill out and recharge.

4 SLEEP and enough of it, is going to be crucial, so try to bring the bedtime forward a bit (they won’t have learned to tell the time yet so avail of the chance while you can). Do the same yourself, and get up a bit earlier than the rest of the household to have things organised as there’s nothing worse than starting the day in chaos. This is especially true if you have a child who is particular about their socks/how their hair is tied up (not too tight, not too loose) etc. Remember, too, that because we’re in West Cork, there’s a good chance you’ll get stuck behind someone leaving cows in or out on the way to school, so an extra 10 minutes (even seven) is always helpful.

5 REMEMBER that your child won’t starve if they don’t eat their lunch – ergo don’t worry too much about the lunch! Make it the night before or that morning, but either way be prepared for most of it to come back home untouched. Present it instead as an afterschool snack and you’ll usually find it will be devoured. Also, keep the teacher in mind when it comes to what you put in the lunchbox. Remember how hassled you feel at birthday parties when you’ve multiple kids asking you to open this and that at the same time? Exactly. So if your child can’t peel an orange, leave it out. On that note (the teacher’s sanity), label stuff. Label everything from the uniform top, to coats, to pencils, water bottles etc. It just makes life easier for everyone, and means you won’t be constantly replacing things.

6 REMIND yourself that comparison is the thief of joy. One child might bound out of school full of joy and chat, and another might not. The reverse might be the case the next day. Everyone takes things at their own pace because everyone is different. It’s the same when it comes to making friends – as a parent, you naturally want your child to have a wingman/wingwoman as soon as possible, but at this age it takes a while, and can even take the entire year. You can’t force it. We try to teach the kids resilience, and it’s important that we are resilient too. Trust that your child will get where they need to be, and just remember to keep taking those deep breaths.

7 GET ready for lots, and lots, of WhatsApps. This way of communicating is both lifesaving and head-melting during school-going years, and depending on the size of your household, it can become a full-time job if you don’t stay on top of things, so ... stay on top of things. We’ve all heard the horror stories of the wrong message being sent in haste to the wrong group/person and the apocalyptic fallout, so the basic WhatsApp rule is to never commit anything bitchy to text. Just don’t do it.

8 WHEN the going gets tough (and there will be times for sure), remind yourself that mid-term isn’t too far off and that’s a great chance for everyone to recharge and reset and restore any frayed nerves. And sure the Christmas holidays aren’t too far off after that. Sorry, it’s too soon to mention Christmas isn’t it?

9 IN between, though, be ready for lots of school ‘dress-up days’ – everything from red day, orange day, green day (time of your life on that day!) and the one where you’ll really have to deliver – Halloween (again, remind yourself of the incoming mid-term break). Start practising your face painting skills now as even the most placid child turns into a proper monster that morning, demanding professional results from your pound shop kit. Oh, and if you thought that was bad, there’s World Book Day to look forward to in March, always another delightful event that brings out the best in everyone first thing in the morning.

10 FINALLY, try to enjoy these days (or even some of them). Before you know it, the kids will have moved up to senior classes. There’ll be no holding of lovely soft, squashy tiny hands, or helping with school bags, or hearing stories of break-time antics, or art work that says ‘I love you’.

Remember, grab those moments of joy when you can, don’t sweat the small stuff, remind yourself that ‘this, too, shall pass’ (whatever ‘this’ is at any given time), and if all else fails, remember there’s nothing a jelly sweet won’t resolve, including getting out of the car in the morning. No judgement here!