September is the time to get ready for the holiday season in today’s modern world but technology can upset the best-laid plans. Still ... an old Irish saying lightened my day
• I WAS in a particularly jolly mood one evening last week when an email pinged into my account telling me about a particular Santa experience in Cork. Specifically, it was informing me that booking was opening for this experience the following morning at 10am.
As it happened, I was free at that time, so I joyfully texted my sister and suggested that I’d book it for the two families and it would be one of those never-to-forget, magical days out. The kind of event that would produce photos worth framing, without a doubt. Next morning I took up my position at the laptop at 9.55am, clicked into the link, and was admitted to a waiting room (which gave me major Coldplay fear; I might have to phone Joe later on, I chuckled to myself) but thankfully things moved along nice and swiftly.
So far so fabulous. I selected a Sunday afternoon in mid-December (not too early in the month as we mightn’t have our festive vibe cranked up enough, and not too late because no matter how hard you try, things always get very busy), I ticked all the necessary boxes and put through my banking details. That’s when things became less joyful.
My phone has been acting up lately, and oddly my banking app had vanished. So I had to reinstall it, which naturally took a few minutes, by which time I was starting to sweat a bit. All was not lost though, I told myself. For my second attempt, my perfect mid-December afternoon slot had been taken, and I had to go for an early-December mid-morning slot instead (we’d roll with it I figured, throw on some festive tunes in the car, get the mood going, go out for brunch instead of lunch), but then I hit another glitch.
For some unknown reason I wasn’t getting that necessary verification code sent to my phone to seal the deal. I tried repeatedly – while screaming obscenities at the dog – but between the jigs and the reels I managed to prompt some sort of security review that locked me out my bank account for four hours. Ho, ho, noooooooo!
• This was not part of my perfect plan. I was so frustrated that I rang my husband and I basically tried to blame him for the whole thing. He listened to my ravings before telling me that he was in an important meeting and would have to get back to me. Fair enough, I suppose.
Then I texted my sister, who is also in full-time employment, but who is so efficient she’d probably have managed the booking as well as her work, to break the bad news. Bless her, she was the voice of reason as she always is and replied: ‘Sure God send us no greater loss. Maybe we’d all be better off visiting a live crib?’ I didn’t bother telling her that live cribs are a bit of a ‘no no’ these days, but I appreciated her sentiment all the same.
As it happened, when I told my mum about my (relative) disaster later on, she said the very same thing: ‘May God send you all no greater loss.’
And by the time I shared my story at the school collection that afternoon – when basically people looked at me like I was half mental to be booking a Santa visit in glorious September sunshine – I had come around to that way of thinking myself.
• Having said that, it seems like I was in the minority. Just to satisfy myself, I had also phoned the Santa experience to see if I could salvage the situation, and a helpful elf told me that I could still make a booking. They could give me a 9am slot or a 9pm slot. On a Wednesday. No amount of Christmas songs were going to make that happen, so I decided to abandon my quest to ‘hashtag: live our best lives.’ We’ll figure something out in December (God willing!).
Although I did see something online about another ‘experience’ (it’s never just a visit anymore, notice that?) which opens for bookings in October.
I might have to outsource that particular task or have a support team on standby. I also heard the other day – oh yes I did – that the pantos are selling out fast too. It’s all too much for me.
Oh, and by the way, if you’ve started your Christmas shopping already, I just don’t want to know. Let’s get next month’s Budget out of the way first before we start finalising the shopping lists.
• Since that festive fiasco, I’ve actually started applying ‘May God send you no greater loss’ to loads of situations and even though I’m not at all religious, it’s really helpful to pull you back from the brink. Unless your head is hanging off, it works in most scenarios and usually makes you feel a whole lot better. It got me thinking of other Irish sayings that I like, even if they’re a bit odd. For example: ‘Water will always find its level.’ If you’re struggling a bit to find your place, I find that is a nice comforting one, and easy to visualise too.
Or how about: ‘What’s for you won’t go past you?’ To be honest, I can pick a few holes in that particular one going by personal experience, but I’m prepared to let it go for the sake of this article.
• Anyway, I’ve really been enjoying perusing the schedule for this year’s Culture Night taking place this Friday. There’s a seriously impressive amount of events taking place all over West Cork and well done to all involved in organising all of them. To be fair, anyone who knows me, will know full well I probably won’t go to anything as leaving my house isn’t really my thing, but one event I’m very drawn to is called Doodle Song and takes place in Clonakilty. It’s described as a ‘gathering to sing and take our crayons for a spin’. Now it’s for kids aged two to five, but I wonder would anyone mind if I gatecrashed? Either way, I figure I can have my own version of Culture Night at home – get some posh crisps in and maybe watch something subtitled on Netflix. I’m joking about the subtitles – sure how would I keep an eye on Instagram?
• Speaking of that highly-addictive and rarely useful social media platform, I inadvertently came across actor Mary McEvoy’s account the other day (that would be Biddy of Glenroe). What a breath of fresh air she is. In a recent post she spoke about authenticity, allowing ourselves to be imperfect, and feeling comfortable enough in our humanity to show up as we are.
Wise words, or as Miley himself might say ‘Well Holy God, ha!’
Another great Irish phrase that covers a multitude of situations.
