January got off to a very embarrassing start on a hot seat for our columnist – but at least she’s keeping up the walking bit
• I NEED to set the record straight about something before we get going this week. Right, here goes: to those who were in the steam room at Clonakilty Leisure Centre last Saturday evening around 5pm I didn’t bomb ... fart ... pass wind ... whatever you call it yourself.
All signs and sounds pointed to the fact that I did, but I most certainly did not. Let me explain. I had taken a plunge in the ice bath (insanely cold but immensely satisfying), went straight to the steam room, sat down and that’s when the not-so-gas incident happened. Whatever way my bum landed on the bench, it made the most convincing fart noise ever heard. I got such a start I went redder than I was already, hopped up, muttered something that sounded like ‘oh God!’ sat back down and ... it happened again. Only this time the sound was even louder, more convincing and lasted even longer. I tried to make eye contact with anyone to explain myself but everyone’s gaze was fixed firmly on their feet, probably out of embarrassment for me. Trust me, I was absolutely mortified for myself too. So yes, I just wanted to clear the air (not literally) on that front and issue a warning. Be a right bummer if that happened to anyone else.
• Now aside from that, I’m still muddling through that sort of general January fogginess and haven’t quite found my stride for 2025 yet. My random thoughts include cutting a fringe, training as a yoga teacher, going vegan, quitting coffee, not cutting a fringe, signing up for a half marathon, or just going back to bed – usually all in the space of around five minutes. I’m probably overthinking things. The trick for January, I think, is just to focus on what’s in front of you. Start by getting up, putting your two feet on the ground and keep on moving from there. Remember there’s a bank holiday at the start of February to look forward to, courtesy of St Brigid, and St Patrick’s Day won’t be long after that. Mother of God, the year will fly on us again!
Emma was impressed by the stoicism of an elderly couple evacuated from the LA fires.
• The big freeze of last week is a distant memory at this point but that probably didn’t help me re-establish the post-Christmas routine. We got off very lightly in my part of West Cork which was both a blessing and a pity. Regardless of your age it’s hard not to get hugely excited by the magic of a proper snowfall. It happens so rarely that it brings out the inner kid in all of us. The thing is, though, if you’re an adult you’ll have enough of it after a day and will want everything to go back to normal. Anyway, we only had a few days of hard frosts but it meant some delayed school openings for the smallie and working from home for my husband. Both things combined meant I felt a bit of a throwback to lockdown (shudder), and I wasn’t the only one, either. There’s something about everyone spending extended periods of time at home together that can be most ... challenging. I’d say if morning road conditions hadn’t improved by day four, my husband would have chartered a helicopter to get into the office. Hopefully the relationship will return to normal ... provided there isn’t another cold snap any time soon!
• Staying on the weather topic, it’s hard to know where to even start with the fires and widespread devastation in California. It’s totally mind blowing. I heard a senior couple who lost their home in the blaze being interviewed on the radio and their courage really impressed me. They said they looked around their home before being evacuated and realised there was actually very little they wanted to bring with them, once they were safe themselves. I thought that was very telling and a good way of reminding ourselves that material things aren’t important in the overall scheme of things. If your house is burning down you won’t be reaching for that Stanley, so for 2025 let’s all stop buying stuff that doesn’t really matter (I should point out that I’ve nothing against Stanleys personally, just making the point).
• For anyone interested, I’m staying on track with my walking challenge (big wow, I know!). Keeping me motivated is the fact that my local GAA Club, Argideen Rangers, is once again taking part in the campaign called Ireland Lights Up. It’s where ‘Get Ireland Walking’ partners with the GAA and Irish Life to host a weekly community walk. It’s linked into the 40 Day Health Challenge (the new version of Operation Transformation). One of the challengers taking part in that this year is businesswoman Caroline Murphy of West Cork Eggs. Look it up online, as she’s hugely inspiring and very relatable if, like me, you’re a middle-aged woman. Anyway, each week a club participating in Ireland Lights Up will get a visit from the camera crew, so that brings me back to my original conundrum: should I get a fringe?
