SCIENTISTS have long grappled with the bizarre nature of quantum mechanics, where particles can exist in multiple states simultaneously until they’re observed. This week in Leinster House, we’ve witnessed something remarkably similar, as TDs found themselves in a peculiar superposition of their own – simultaneously having and not having speaking rights, being inside and outside of the government at the same time – a concept worthy of Flann O’Brien if I ever heard one. That was until Verona Murphy appeared to observe what was going on and was forced to declare that enough was enough. The chaos and disquiet that has erupted over Dáil speaking time makes quantum entanglement look straightforward, to be honest. At least electrons don’t storm out in protest when you try to measure their spinning. I suppose it’s been clear that Leinster House has been its own black hole of logic for some time. Many would say that the public aren’t concerned about such technical legislative matters but that’s the problem with black holes in science, as in politics. They have a tendency to draw all matter into their centre and destroy everything in their path until somebody figures out a way to put a plug in them.
Not the most auspicious of starts for the new government, it has to be said.
Orange you worried?
THE circus is back in town, folks, and the Tango Man in Chief already has most of the Western world exhausted. Domestically, the Donald and his goons seem to be successfully dismantling most of the infrastructure of government, including the FBI. Then he went on to be the opposite of presidential by blaming diversity hiring for an air collision that killed 67 people in Washington DC. But he wasn’t content with upending everything at home. This week saw him launch a full-blown trade war that the Wall Street Journal is already calling the ‘dumbest in history’. And that’s saying something, given humanity’s track record in dumb stuff.
Mexico and Canada were hit first before being given short reprieves. The Mexicans sent 10,000 troops to the border as a sign they were taking migration and drug trafficking seriously. Canada appointed a ‘fentanyl czar’ and launched a joint strike force to combat organised crime and money laundering, according to Trump. This, despite the fact Canada is not really being a source of fentanyl in any real way.
Here in Ireland, we’re watching this unfold like that quiet kid in class hoping the teacher doesn’t notice us while he’s busy terrorising the other kids. What will we have to do – agree to turn all of Clare into a giant golf course just to get him to leave us alone? Of course these tariffs are basically just taxes that will end up hitting ordinary Americans harder. Take the auto industry as an example – cars cross borders half a dozen times during production as companies source parts and labour. Or consider that 90% of America’s avocados come from Mexico. Is Trump really ready to trigger an avocado uprising among millennials? A war on brunch is the kind of revolution nobody needs. As the old saying goes: ‘It’s risky to be America’s enemy, but it can be fatal to be its friend.’ What the orange one might have in mind for the EU and Ireland is yet to be seen. Deep breaths and large pinches of salt might be the order of the day for the next while, folks. We all know the best way to treat bullies is to show no fear.
We got our mojo back
IS there anything better than having the Six Nations back on our screens? After months of moping about that World Cup quarter-final exit, Irish rugby has rediscovered its mojo. We seem to have a humdinger of a rivalry developing between our own Jack Crowley and Sam Prendergast at out half, with Jack making a really strong case for starting against the Scots at the weekend. I don’t mind which one starts, to be honest, having a game changer to bring on after 60 minutes is the kind of thing we would have only dreamed of in the past and there seems to be no end to the talent coming through. Having said that – and this is ironic in a world that seems to be turning its back on migration – but most of the magic moments came from Jamison Gibson-Park, Bundee Aki, James Lowe in the backs. The Kiwi ‘special project’ players are the last ones standing after the three year rule changed to a five-year residency law and they seem to be the ones that can really swing games for Ireland with moments of pure genius. Long may they continue, and certainly until the next World Cup, but we’re going to have to allow our young academy players to play with the fearless imagination and unpredictability of these guys. It doesn’t come naturally to us – but perhaps that’s the step we need to make next if we’re to ever break our duck and get beyond those notorious quarter finals.
