Patricia is happy to share the essential etiquette bucket list

A Ballineen woman is on a mission to bring back good manners and etiquette – but in a fun way. She learned her skills from the same experts who trained the staff at Buckingham Palace, she tells Emma Connolly

WEST Cork’s answer to TV character ‘Hyacinth Bucket’ is on a mission to make sure we all know how to correctly hold our teacups and make that winning first impression.

Patricia Maybury from Ballineen is the perfectly-coiffed powerhouse behind ‘The Etiquette Suite’ where her mantra is ‘manners are ageless and class is priceless’.

The mum-of-four has been trained by the same etiquette experts that trained Buckingham Palace staff and what she doesn’t know about manners ... isn’t worth knowing!

She grew up in Macroom, where her parents ran a butcher shop. After training to be a nurse, herself and her husband Tom bought the Village Inn in Enniskeane in 1987, where Patricia honed her hosting skills.

At the time she had four children, three who were under two-and-a-half, and she also did food for the bar. Suffice to say, she’s not afraid of rolling up her sleeves and getting stuck in.

After the couple left the pub business, she worked part time in various jobs, including a local health centre and pharmacy.

‘It was a very busy house. Then when the children were grown up and left home, I decided that it was time to make a go of the business that I’d been thinking about for years,’ said Patricia (58).

‘When Downton Abbey aired on our televisions, it led to an update in etiquette classes worldwide. This was an offering that was not available in Ireland, which strengthened my thoughts of one day offering etiquette classes.

‘My mission statement is to enhance others with confidence, poise and polished finesse, by guiding them through the art of etiquette.’

She does this through workshops for individuals, groups, and corporates. Modules covered include dining and business etiquette, graceful deportment and posture, social graces, dress code, sophisticated communication, and exquisite entertaining.

‘My goal is to share my refined knowledge of social norms, courteous behaviour, and gracious manners to allow people navigate professional and social situations effortlessly and elegantly,’ she said.

She got her penchant for etiquette, elegance and social finesse from her late mum Marie, who passed away last August.

‘She was so elegant, but never pretentious, and would always wear a bit of bling or a feather on her hat going to mass. She also had an innate kindness about her, and was always bringing children in from the shop to the kitchen to feed them. She was known far and wide for icing wedding cakes, which she was so talented at. I treasure my legacy of etiquette, elegance and kindness that I inherited from her,’ said Patricia.

She hasn’t launched the business lightly, and has invested a lot – both time and finance – in her training. Among other credentials, she’s a graduate of The English Manner in London run by well-known William Hanson who has worked with VIP households.

She also has qualifications in event management and style, fashion, and image.

Patricia gives advice on, clockwise from top left: sipping from a teacup, folding your napkin, mixing your milk, holding your cup, crossing your legs elegantly and holding a wine glass always by the stem. (Photo: Kathryn O'Shea)

So, not only does she act the part, she looks the part – but she’s quick to point out that elegance can be achieved on a budget and points out that her favourite dress cost her €18.

‘I’m passionate about sustainability, especially when it comes to giving preloved items a new lease of life. Charity shops are my treasure troves, where I find beautiful items like china, cutlery, and glassware, at tiny prices.’

Her approach is to build her business in a slow, steady, and sustainable way.

‘I’m not on social media – yet! Until two years ago if you googled Patricia Maybury all you’d have seen was a Canadian pilates instructor – blonde and toned! I’m taking things at my own pace.’

Does she think people are getting ruder, we wonder?

‘Etiquette evolves and adapts and I feel that for lots of people, their social skills need to be enhanced. We seem to have lost the skill of doing something simple like even smiling and engaging with our neighbour,’ she said.

Patricia with Emma at a recent Network West Cork businesswomen’s event. (Photo: Kathryn O’Shea)

She acknowledges that not everyone is born with confidence, but the art of making conversation can be learned. And she’s also aware that everyone ‘has a story’ and that we need to have compassion for each other.

She hopes to host one-day events on topics such as ‘learn to be a lady in a day’ and her ambition is to have a library of pre-recorded tutorials on a range of topics, and to write a book.

Patricia has also been given the ultimate endorsement – the thumbs up from hotelier Francis Brennan.

‘I think he’s the epitome of social finesse, so I wrote to him telling him about my plans for the business and he rang me and told me he thought it was a great idea,’ said Patricia, who also works part-time in Keane’s Jewellers in Cork city.

Her family are really proud of her. Sarah (34) works in high-end hospitality in New York; Clodagh (33) works in finance and lives in Clonakilty; Neville (32) is an electrical engineer in Vancouver, and ‘baby’ Bill (28) is a hugely successful London-based songwriter that has featured in this newspaper numerous times.

‘They have given me great encouragement – Bill also told me to go for it – so I’m doing that, but on my own terms. I think this is my time.’

Watch some of Patricia's tips here.