Our columnist entertained guests from across the Atlantic. But a plan to impress with ‘homemade’ scones almost came a cropper!
• BETWEEN one thing and another most of the past week was taken up with ‘The American Cousins’ – sort of a before, during, and after state of affairs. I’ll cut straight to the chase and say the visit was absolutely lovely, totally joyful, and it felt so nice to reconnect with some family members, and connect for the first time with others.
• Now that we’ve got that bit clear (apologies to anyone who was looking for a bit of drama), I’ll backtrack a bit. Well, I was absolutely flat out from jobs for the few days they arrived. It didn’t quite reach epic levels, such as if we were having the stations (there were no new couches bought, or kitchens fitted), but it veered close enough at times.
There were visits to garden centres, and then a few more visits (once you start buying plants, it becomes totally addictive ... it’s just a pity that I’m not quite so committed to keeping them all alive as I am to planting them). There was powerwashing and then some more powerwashing – if you stood still for long enough (chance would be a fine thing) you risked being blasted into oblivion; the poor dog had to go into hiding! There was plenty of spot painting, little touch-ups here and there – mainly window sills and surrounds (a bit like what I do myself when I just tan up to my knees ... cutting corners!).And there was strimming, lots and lots of strimming.
All in all I have to say the place wasn’t looking too bad at all after our combined efforts. We concluded our forefathers would have been pleased with us. But as the sun went down the night before ‘The American Cousins’ arrived, the wind and rain whipped up. Of course it did. When we woke the next morning it looked like we hadn’t even bothered. Jesus wept and so did I. Fortunately, the sun came out in the nick of time and the place looked all the lusher thanks to the drop of rain. So far, so good.
We had decided to keep things straightforward: some light bites and drinks in my house where everyone would gather, followed by a meal in the lovely Monks Lane in Timoleague to follow. We said we’d go with an Irish artisan theme and I was tasked with providing some scones for part of the spread. My scones, I have to say, are quite nice ... if they’re eaten within five minutes of coming out of the oven; otherwise well, they’re not at all nice. Challenging on the teeth and the digestion.
Personally, I don’t think anyone in West Cork makes tastier scones than Brendan in Travara Lodge, Courtmacsherry so what’s a slightly hassled middle-aged woman going to do? Exactly! Order them in, and try to pass them off as her own. Let’s call it outsourcing.
They went down a treat, as they always do, no surprises there, so much so that my guests asked for the recipe. Avoiding eye contact with my sister I dutifully produced one, which so happened to be stained in flour and butter for added authenticity.
Sure, what else could I do when backed into such a tight corner? We also served delicious Ummera smoked salmon, on Kalbos Skibbereen brown bread, all washed down with enough Five Farms Irish Cream Liqueur to significantly boost shareholder dividends for next year.
I’m not certain, but our cousins may have been under the impression that our own cows’ milk was used in the drink, there may have been a bit of a grey area there as well, but sure a little bit of storytelling never harmed anyone, right?
We talked a little about Trump and Biden; they got to pat calves’ heads (not me personally as I’m quite nervous around calves, and absolutely terrified of cows, a story for another day), Monks Lane went down a treat (specifically the hake and the Guinness) and we all bade farewell until the next time. We’re lucky really, as West Cork is an easy sell but I’m looking forward to not having to pull out the leaf blower for another while!
• Less of a lovely tale is the ferociously horrible vomiting bug circulating in West Cork at the moment which many readers may have had the misfortune to experience first hand. We’ve miraculously managed to swerve it somehow, even though cousins all around us have fallen victim. Having said that I’m still totally paranoid and am constantly imagining that I’m feeling queasy (really all I want is to justify a little lie down for myself), or if the smallie so much as looks at me sideways, I’m running with a towel and the puke bowl (also used as the popcorn bowl, what else?). It’s a nasty dose, by all accounts.
And just like that, the mad busy time of the year is winding down and we’re all settling into a new rhythm of the summer holidays, which is also busy but in a slightly different way. The WhatsApp groups have gone a little quieter than normal (amen to that!), the graduation/ celebration/ ‘whatever you’re having yourself’ days are over for another year; school bags, lunch boxes and uniforms have all been stood down for a few weeks (I couldn’t resist doing a little happy dance for that one).
But for all my complaining about all the madness that the end-of-the-school year brings, I had to remind myself that it’s a lucky thing to be able to do to it. Not everyone is. So here’s to a lovely summer – and remember that when the going gets tough, at least there’ll always be that little reprieve offered by Cúl Camp to look forward to!
