Just when she thought it was safe to relax, our columnist has learned the air fryer is taking in all the juicy gossip!
• WELL, I’ve really heard it all now, and it seems like my air fryer has too. What am I on about? Well it turns out that our trusty appliance, the reliable air fryer, has only been listening in on us, yes eavesdropping, all the time from its vantage spot on the kitchen counter.
There we were, singing its praises for helping us to get the dinner on the table in no time and making us feel better for serving chips several times a week, and sure it was only making a fool of us! Laughing at us! It had its own agenda and it had nothing to do with cooking the perfect goujon in six minutes, either.
Allow me explain: according to a report by British consumer watchdog Which? some smart appliances, including the air fryer, are listening in and sending our personal data all the way to China! Now, it’s obviously far more complicated than that, and involves the use of apps with certain brands only, but still I feel like I’ve been betrayed, stabbed in the back by a trusted friend. I still can’t quite get my head around how it works exactly, but in my mind, what I’m imagining is a tiny, suited man crouched down among my chips in the basket with a notepad and pen, jotting down what he hears being discussed in my kitchen.
On reflection, though, I’d say he’d be hard pressed to find anything of interest worth jotting down so I’d say I’m safe enough. In no particular order here’s what’s been going down in my kitchen this week:
• Most days, probably every day, the weather is the big topic of conversation. I can’t help myself. The past week will have seen me instigate multiple chats about how unseasonably warm it is, and seeking independent confirmation that it is in fact very mild, and it’s not just me feeling all hot and frazzled. The tiny man will have heard loud and clear that yes, we’re all roasting and that it’s very strange indeed for the mercury to be hovering around 15 degrees in November. It’s mad though, isn’t it? It will shorten the winter for sure, but it’s really unsettling and I’m sure someone will pay the price. I’m just glad I didn’t buy a new coat or boots.
Also quite odd, and potentially dangerous, were the glut of jellyfish that landed on several West Cork shores last week. Countless nasty mauve jellyfish littered beaches making it impossible for sea swimmers to access some popular dipping spots.
And don’t get me started on the grass still growing! I’m not sure how many more ‘last cuts’ we’ll have to give the lawn. Mother Nature doesn’t seem one bit happy, that’s for sure – and neither is my husband! Seems like the mower is never going to be stood down this season.
Anne-Marie Huff, Eve Hewson, Sharon Horgan, Eva Birthistle, Sarah Greene star in Bad Sisters. It's return is the talk of Emma Connolly's house. (Photo: Shutterstock)
• How I think I’ve finally cracked the happiness code by the simple act of raking leaves was another favourite topic. Despite the warm weather, the trees are shedding by the lorry load and my new favourite thing to do is to rake them. Quite often they’re falling around me as I rake, making it all feel a bit futile (a bit like clearing snow, while it’s still snowing) but honestly, it doesn’t take away from my joy a single bit. There’s nothing like being outdoors, working up a bit of a sweat, and getting immense satisfaction from seeing the fruits of your labour (lots of piles of leaves). If anyone needs a driveway cleared, get in touch. I’ll even bring my own rake!
• The topic of Christmas is also starting to creep in a bit more and more in my household. Try as I did, I couldn’t help myself one of the days when there were a few family members around and I asked ‘The Question.’ As in ‘Who is doing Christmas this year?’ I don’t think anyone answered me as they were all too busy avoiding eye contact and acting all shifty but at least I’ve thrown it out there.
We’ve also been doing a lot of giving out about people who have their decorations up already. Each to their own and all that, but c’mon like. What concerns me most is how on earth would you be able to do the dusting? You just couldn’t, not properly anyway.
• Then there’s the elections – here and in the US. I’m tired of talking about Trump at this stage, and am glad of the distraction of having our own election to focus on. I’m hoping, though, that the short evenings will mean we won’t get too many canvassers on the doorstep. I always get tongue-tied and try as I might I can never think of a single thing to ask them. I suppose I could always enquire what they’d do about the air fryers?
I’ve also been blown away by how many election posters are vandalised already. There are quite a few in my locality that have the candidate’s face cut out in a perfectly neat circle. That has to take dexterity, determination, a good scissors and nerves of steel, given that you could be caught in the act at any moment. The mind boggles really.
• The long-awaited debut of the second season of Bad Sisters on Apple TV has also been the subject of plenty of chat. I’ve been looking forward to this for months and now that it’s finally here, I don’t know whether to save up a few episodes at a time, or to enjoy each weekly episode as it lands. I can’t decide? Maybe the tiny man in the air fryer would have an opinion if I asked politely? With all the talk about Paul Mescal starring in Gladiator 2, I’ve actually been most preoccupied by the discovery that the original movie hit our screens 24 years ago. How is that even possible? I would have said 15, max. I’m also mind blown that Alice Taylor has a new book out called A Place Called Home and wait for it, it’s her 32nd. Imagine writing 32 books? I struggle with this weekly slot. Now, that’s beyond impressive.
• Of course there was loads of other stuff up for discussion that I can’t mention because my family and friends would never speak to me again. Just the sort of stuff that broadly falls into the category of ‘bitching’, things that you don’t really mean, but feel way better for getting off your chest, like that I did Christmas last year so I shouldn’t really have to do it again, that kind of stuff!
Anyway, I’m now eyeing up the toaster and coffee machine with suspicion, and just to be on the safe side I have been stepping outside onto the patio for the really juicy stuff – sure it’s so mild you wouldn’t mind!
