A work trip for her husband prompts our columnist to reflect on the pros and cons of a week apart
• SO my husband had to go to the US for work this week and I have to admit that I was sort of looking forward to it. Now, I wasn’t looking forward to it as much as Christmas or my birthday obviously, but I was definitely eyeing up the departure date on the calendar with some feeling that qualified as anticipation (not quite glee, but not far off).
I should clarify that I love my husband dearly – most of the time, but as the saying goes ‘a change is as good as a rest’ – which is why I cheerfully helped him pack. While walking with pals I mentioned how the hubby was out of town and their envy was palpable.
‘You lucky thing,’ they gasped. ‘What I wouldn’t give for even two days,’ another said. See, it’s not just me who is a bad person!
• Now, it’s not that we’d be getting up to any mischief or anything while left to our own devices, quite the opposite in fact. The main reason for my over-the-top jubilation (and the envy of my gal pals) is the certainty of a good night’s sleep when you’re on your own. That, and the fact that you’re guaranteed to wake up in your own bed.
My husband’s worsening snoring, coupled with my increased hyper-sensitivity to so much as an audible intake of breath makes for very challenging nocturnal circumstances. Thank god for having a spare room, but no one wants to decamp there from a warm bed in the middle of the night, so it’s very much a survival of the most
stubborn.
Anyway I hadn’t slept so well in years as I did this past week. It was the sort of sleep where you wake up and you’re like ‘where am I?’ because you haven’t so much as stirred all night; the sort of sleep where you wake up feeling refreshed and recharged and ready to take on the day ... the sort of sleep I never usually have. It was bliss.
• I’ve been hearing a lot recently about mouth taping to promote nasal breathing and help with snoring and heavy breathing. It’s a hot topic on Instagram and TikTok, which would normally make me dismiss it as a fad, but I’m prepared to give anything a go to restore marital harmony in the bedroom. You just need a little bit of tape over the middle of the mouth, as opposed to taping the entire thing shut, which admittedly sounds a bit scary – and sure at the very least it means my husband can’t give out to me if I nudge him in his back when he does snore. I’ll keep you all pasted, I mean posted.
The 'special occasion' wine survived for another week.
• Anyway, with all my guff, I have to admit, though, that half way through the week the novelty of being in command of the ship was wearing off. The child started behaving like her father had gone to war and would never again be seen – thank god for Facetime. And then there was also a situation with a constantly dripping cistern in the ensuite that threatened to jeopardise the sleep (was that the universe playing tricks with me?), but we soldiered on. I also hit a bit of an ethical quandary on the Thursday night when I had an urge to indulge in a little glass of
wine.
Now, supplies have dwindled radically since Christmas and my only options were a €6 cooking wine or what looked like a ‘do not touch unless it’s a special occasion, or preferably don’t touch at all’ bottle.
My husband was in a different time zone and I really did consider ringing him to enquire about the vintage of the second, but I figured waking him up with such a query wouldn’t have gone down well (not as well as the wine). In the end I just went to bed ... and had another epic night’s sleep (and er, truth be told it was a Wednesday night, not a Thursday).
• His absence was also felt when it came to lighting the stove. It’s a lifeskill I’ve never been any good at. I think it’s because I don’t have any patience and just pile everything in randomly and hope for the best, where as he methodically constructs it, placing things carefully in a way that makes sense. I was averaging 12 firelighters each time just to get a bit of a flame going – it was costing me a fortune!
Thank the lord for even having a chimney, though, right? Who knew, before Storm Éowyn, that it would be such a soughtafter thing.
• Finally, speaking of the weather, you can all thank me now because conditions are about to improve in a big way. How do I know that? Well, in breaking news I finally bought myself a proper, 100% waterproof coat that would probably survive an apocalypse.
After weeks of getting wet and freezing while out and about, I figured it was the only sensible thing to do. I haven’t had much of a real necessity to wear it yet (Murphy’s Law), but I’m determined to get the value out of it, so if you see me sweltering it out in the garment just politely look the other way. Same if you see me rooting around in any of the 11 zipped pockets looking for my car keys or the phone – they’re fierce handy for the firelighters though.
