If you’re not already having ‘mid-life’ hot flushes, sorting the kids’ Hallowe’en costumes will most definitely bring one on. But at least we’ve Joe Duffy to thank for making the menopause less scary
• THE scariest thing about Hallowe’en is sorting your kids’ costume for the school dress-up day (I may have touched on this last year, forgive me, but let you try writing a weekly column and see how many original thoughts you come up with!). It sort of brings out their not-so-inner monster. It’s one of their few annual outings without the uniform (along with the dreaded book day) and they tend to build it up into a Very. Big. Deal. I’ve spent more money than I care to admit on Hallowe’en costumes from websites whose sustainable credentials are dubious, so this year I decided I’d unleash my ‘Mary make and do’ and take the costume on as a fun project. Hah! The six-year-old felt it was going to be more horror show, as she’s seen me struggle to sew on a shirt button (l can’t be the only one who finds it tricky to match up the button hole with the button am I?), and she was right. After watching some YouTube videos and doing a stocktake of my arts and crafts cupboard (some empty loo rolls, glue that looked like it had gone off, if that’s even possible, three pom poms and one pipe cleaner – and none of it in a cupboard) I dutifully logged on to the website and made the purchase (fine, I’ll admit it, I just went straight to the website).
• Anyway, I’m not even sure where the six-year-old heard about the character Chucky, from Hallowe’en movies of the same name, but she was intent on getting his mask. After three days I was worn down (look it’s been a tough few years) and I bought it, but the deal was that she wasn’t to wear it around the younger pupils in school, or me for that matter, as he’s one scary looking dude. Drum roll please for my epic parenting fail – between the jigs and the reels she’s managed to scare the life out of herself thinking about him and he hasn’t even been delivered yet. I should probably have seen this coming as I’m as bad myself.
• I’m a terror for begging my husband to throw on a horror movie, insisting we watch it even if I’m nearly vomiting with fright and then spending the next week too frightened to stay in a room on my own. But if like me, you like something a little, but not paralyzingly, scary, check out The Watcher, new to Netflix. If Naomi Watts wasn’t in it I wouldn’t have stuck with it past the second episode but sure I suppose like us all she has to pay the bills. It’s fairly watchable (some of it has been behind my hands, but still) – I just wish I hadn’t found out it was based on a true story.
• Meanwhile, I’ve been channelling a lot of my inner rage this week at tradesmen who don’t show up. The dishwasher is on the blink, and repair men (and women) are pretty thin on the ground. And those that are on the ground, mainly go to ground when you need them. Their standard line is: ‘Oh I’ll be along there on Tuesday.’ Except they won’t, not a notion! I was consoling myself the other day as I scrubbed away at the sink at how much energy I must be saving. Er, not quite. It seems the dishwasher is way more economical (am I the only one not to know?) so now I’m making everyone use the same drinking glass and side plate for the day, as opposed to the usual 11 they go through before noon.
• It struck me during the week that broadcaster Joe Duffy should be given some sort of medal or award. Minister for Health Stephen Donnelly has launched a government awareness campaign for menopause and while no one has said it’s down to Joe, he surely can take a lot of the credit for making it part of the national conversation. New research commissioned by the Department of Health to inform the campaign has found that more than half of Irish women report fatigue, lack of energy, insomnia, ‘brain fog’, changes in weight or body shape, and joint pain – as well as hot flushes and changes in periods; while 86% of women say that menopause can have a big impact on their everyday lives. At the launch it was also pointed out that the group of women going through menopause may also be dealing with stressors associated with childcare, elderly parents and work. In other words, could you all please cut us some slack! I also feel really sorry for our poor mothers, aunties and grandmothers who had to pretend it wasn’t even happening. Thank god the Liveline is open for business.
• Finally, I’m bereft that Sharon Horgan’s series for Apple Bad Sisters is over. It was the best thing I’ve seen in so long. I wonder could we get Joe on the case to start a campaign for a second series? In better news though, filming has started for season four of Succession. It won’t be until next year that the Roys hit our screens again but they’re always worth the wait. In the meantime I’m trying to convince the smallie to go as something less freaky then Chucky but still pretty terrifying: how about a menopausal woman? Or perhaps Liz Truss? Maybe not ....
